My mind races ...ebbs and flows... trying to focus on the positive...trying to live my truth...trying to just be ...here...now
Most of the time I am happy...I am focusing on what I have in my life...and that is truly a lot of goodness...but sometimes the stress of finances, of worrying about the grrrlz' well being, of trying to do it all myself without asking for help...it just sneaks up on me and I want to hide...to step off this crazy merry go round...
But then I realize I should just wait til the spinning stops...it always does...and then everything seems manageable again...
On a side note...any other divorced women out there really wish you were a widow instead...less stigma and less bullshit
But that would be wrong to think that...right?
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You are not alone in your thinking that being a widow might be easier. In my case, the look I get when I tell people I have THREE ex husbands is almost never worth divulging that information. If I could at least say I buried one of them, maybe it would make me appear less of a loser. It's not lost on me that the common thread through three failed marriages is ME. Though I'd like to be able to say I married complete twatwaffles, that's really only true in one of the three cases.
ReplyDeleteHope the crazy calms down for you.