Friday, May 8, 2009

ouch

I have a hurt that I forget about most of the time ....but sometimes it sneaks up on me...I feel the sinking growing into a crater...and I am hurt

I lost a dear dear friend
about 4 months ago...no she is alive and kicking...I lost her as a friend....I am still confused and so hurt by her actions but sometimes it is easier to start fresh and reinvent yourself than deal with the shit... but sometimes it is difficult to do that when you have someone who knows you so well...feeling exposed and fenced in by having someone who can call you on your shit .....or doesn't call you on your shit (as maybe I should have)

Anyways over the past month she has sent little messages over the online chat thingie on facebook...just kinda mundane things like "how are you?"

How am I?

Ummm...why?

Insincere small talk is just annoying... and a drag...why bother?...do you really want to know?...because if you did you would be my friend ....and I'm pretty sure you told me we weren't going to be friends anymore

Like I said, I have a hurt...


just saying,

2 comments:

  1. Found you through Miss Grace's blog.
    I hate the insincere small talk as well. It hurts almost as much as the act of telling me we aren't friends anymore! I had a bloggy 'friend' basically tell me we weren't really friends, after all the months of emailing, reading each other's blogs, being supportive to one another, etc.....and now she doesn't want a thing to do with me. And I swear to you, I am not a nutcake-I didn't do anything! Sigh. It hurts when people drop out of your life for odd (or no) reasons.

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  2. yes it does....thx for stopping by

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